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• Erwin Mardikov, owner of Blue Water Inn
• We bust in and everyone just... stares at us.
• Lilly arranges for us to get rooms for the night. Seir, Ireena, and the two kids in on. Belial and Arkan in one. Lilly and River in one.
• Some dude standing on a chair telling a story of an adventure. Trying to get away from some jungle people who were chasing him through said jungle. Possibly an entertainer.
• River tries to get crunk but there's a limit of 3 since the inn has to ration it out. They're having a shortage. They haven't been getting their shipments.
• QUEST GAINED: We need to go west, to the winery, and investigate why the wine has stopped coming.
• Chair dude is Rictavio. He was traveling and somehow ended up in Barovia. He's been here for about a month. Also the inn doesn't allow pet monkeys, which he has (Piccolo). Monkey is a Blinksy's.
• Rictavio suggests we take the kids to the church. He doesn't know much about churches, but the place seems safe enough.
• There are nonstop festivals, one every week. Wolf's Head Jamboree. Burgomaster offered a bounty for any wolves killed. Burgomaster thinks raising the spirits is the only way to ward off doom and gloom of Barovia.
• You can't talk shit about the festivals or you're get arrested, burgomaster believes anyone who does is an agent of Strahd.
• Don't talk bad about Izek, head of the guards. He's a big bully and very violent.
• Arkan's high as shit wears off and Belial explains what he missed.
• Rictavio leaves to Blinksy's.
• We have breakfast and head to the church, to drop off the kids. Outside, an emo dude is leaning on a shovel. His name is Milivoj but we don't know that anyway he's a prick.
• The church is in a way better shape than Barovia's. Serves Lathandar. Father Lucian Petrovich. Altar boy named Yesika. Lucian agrees to take in the children and we reveal the truth of the dream pies.
• Lucian recognises River as a cleric and thankfully does not know who Umberlee is. Anyway, the bones of Saint Andrel, which protected the church from Strahd, have gone missing. He's worried Yesika, the only other person who knows about the bones, told someone who stole them.
• QUEST GAINED: Retrieve bones.
• Arkan, Belial, and Lilly walk up to Yesika. Lilly persuades him into revealing that is was Milivoj.
• Arkan interrogates Milivoj and learns he stole the bones and sold them to the coffinmaker. Milivoj was being a sassy asshole though so Arkan used Chill Touch and moved him to one (1) HP.
• We head to the coffinmaker's. We also see Rictavio's caravan.
• Coffinmaker doesn't want to let us in. Arkan tries to kick the door in and fails. Seir kicks the door in and succeeds the fuck.
• Lilly uses Suggestion to get the coffinmaker to retrieve the bones. He fails the save and leads us upstairs, to his bedroom. He gives us a bag of bones.
• Apparently his patron, a nobleman named Vasili von Holtz, asked for them. Was promised good business and favours. All coffinmaker has to do is store boxes and sometimes steal bones.
• Holtz: Large, striking, well-dressed.
• Arkan enters the storage and opens a storage and activates some undead.
  • Belial yells at River to get the hell in here, we've got undead.
  • Lilly uses Faerie Fire and gets two of 'em.
  • Arkan uses a quickened Mage Armor and tries a Green-Flame Blade, but misses.
  • River dashes in and determines they're lil baby vampires.
  • Seir moves forth and chucks a handaxe.
  • One tries to grapple Arkan but he puts on a Shield. Fuck THAT. Another tries and fails. One moves up to Belial and somehow fails to hit his 13 AC. Another manages to grapple Seir but somehow misses its bite attack. A third tries to grapple Arkan and misses not once, but twice.
  • Belial summons up a couple shadows.
  • Lilly makes fun of the one grappling Seir for missing the bite, with VM. It fuckin' fails and is offended.
  • Arkan hits one in the face with a Shocking Grasp, moves away, takes two hard opportunity attacks, and summons a Shadow Blade.
  • River Turns Undead finally and frightens all but two.
  • The shadows attack the unfrightened two. But they're dealing necrotic damage, so it really negates the whole usefulness.
  • Seir misses an attack on the grappling one.
  • Three vampires ollie out the window. Arkan stabs one and prevents it from fleeing. Another tries to claw Seir and fucking misses, so Seir stabs it really hard. The last one tries to claw Belial and misses.
  • Belial convinces one that "It is useless to fight us-- give up."
  • Lilly VMs the grappler, saying, "Keep trying! Maybe you'll hit it this time!" It crit passes.
  • Arkan fucking CRITS the glowing bitch next to him and deals 29 damage. It's somehow still up.
  • River screams radiance again. One passes, one fails.
  • The shadows strike the vampires and sap more strength. These poor poor bastards.
  • Seir misses a rapier swing. He action surges. He crit misses.
  • One vampire slashes at a shadow. The grappler fails to bite.
  • Lilly viciously mocks the grappler. "You really suck."
  • Arkan brutalises one but it is not dead yet.
  • River learns that they're regenerating a bit. He screams radiance. They are unaffected.
  • The shadows continue to slash at the vampires.
  • Seir misses yet another attack.
  • One crits Arkan and takes a heavy hit. Another claws Seir. Another tries to run away and gets wrecked by opportunity attacks, but it isn't dead.
  • Belial does one (1) spear damage.
  • Lilly VM'd the one near Arkan. "You're not even gonna get blood out of him, you idiot!"
  • Doesn't matter, because Arkan Shadow Blade's it to death.
  • River @ the remaining vampire: BEGONE THOT. It saves. He heals Arkan too.
  • The shadows maul the vampire (who we lovingly named bacon).
  • Seir wrangles out of the vampire's grasp.
  • Vampire deals a solid 10 damage with its claws. And crits again for 12.
  • Belial now does three (3!!!) spear damage.
  • Lilly: "You shouldn't have skipped arm day! I could lift more than you by now!" And it flinches. (Vicious Mockery)
  • Arkan blazes it it Scorching Ray.
  • River just... can't seem to scream radiance well enough.
  • The shadows sap more strength.
  • Seir crit misses YET. AGAIN. Heals up a bit with Second Wind. Also the DM realises he forgot to add a negative strength mod and also gives Seir back 10 health.
  • The vampire claws weakly and misses. Seir tries a Riposte and misses.
  • Belial hilariously misses with his spear.
  • Lilly feels pity and inspires Seir. She also makes fun of the vampire with VM and it fails.
  • Arkan hurls holy water at the vampire and hits the shit out of it.
  • Seir puts away his rapier and shanks the FUCK out of it with his longsword.
  • The vampire growls, "Blegdhgfhdgh Strahd's will is unbreakable!" Seir laughs. It lands a hit... but it's so weak that it does no damage.
  • Belial cannot spear.
  • Lilly points at it and starts losing her shit. That's her mockery. It didn't fuckin' save.
  • Arkan stabs it through the face and makes it go down.
• Holtz gets mad at us for wrassling in his storage. Lilly looks at him and says, "Fuck you for keeping vampires." He gets scared and runs.
• Arkan sits down and breathes, "What the fuck." Everyone starts yelling at him for opening a crate. He defends himself, saying he didn't have a reason to think there were vampires in there.
• We head out to see the coffinmaker being arrested. The head of the guards, Izek, appears and demands, "What is going on here?!" Ireena, thankfully, is inside.